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CHAPTER 25d: TV logic

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“Shields up!” Yelled Steve, using his years of mindless viewing of that same easily-mockable sci-fi TV show as a base for his commands.

“Oy!  Ro-jah that then luv!” Came the computer’s cheery reply, as large metal panels shot up around the central computer, coffee machine, and airlock.

“er…” Steve erred, as another blast shook the ship.

Thinking we should perhaps let someone else captain the ship are we…?” Pressed Captain Groink, doing a rather smooth technotronic hand-dance movement that was quite in tune with the natural percussion one might expect from a splattering of laser blasts hitting one’s ship’s hull.

“I meant reflector shields!  You know… things to stop the lasers!”  Steve squealed, again, failing to notice any irony.

“Oy!  Ri’oh!  Yew wan’ th’ NT-Zap oy!?  Activatin’!” Chirped the computer, activating the ship’s shield batteries. 

EDITOR’S NOTE:  I’d like to take this moment to remark on the absolute absurdity of so many science fiction movies placing shield batteries, generators and other such mechanisms, OUTSIDE of the shields they thusly create.  I mean, how retarded do you have to BE, to think that’s a good plan?  “Oh, I know, I’ll tape the gold bars to the outside of the armored truck!”  Yes!  Brilliant!

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