His thunderous footfalls echoed throughout, as Insecurity trundled into the arena, his single eye blinking in the spotlights. His huge hairy battle-arms lifted his battle-club up past his battle-shorts as he bellowed his battle-roar, overpowering even the mighty crowd’s cheers. Calmly, he looked over at his partner, and gave him a snarling grunt.
Fear slithered up the side of the arena, returned the grunt with a nod, and burrowed his poisonous stingers through the very ground, and burst them out several feet away like really angry gophers, only scarier... And pointier. (The crowd loved the pre-show antics)
Self confidence circled nervously, his eyes darting between his two opponents while his head tucked as deep into his shell as possible; clutching his dagger in his anxiously sweating palms. The handicap match he always seemed to find himself in, clearly, had been fixed for years.
The audience roared and stood to their feat, as the contest began.
Insecurity got to work right away, catching confidence off guard with a crunching kick. Confidence felt his left rib crack, and, even as he reeled from the pain, Fear took Confidence in his jaws from behind, tossed him, and, as Confidence spun in the air, Fear hit him again with his tail.
Confidence slammed into the arena walls, his vision and hearing blacking out from the impacts, only to return seconds later in a deafening roar of the crowd and the pounding of his own heart.
Confidence struggled to his feet, only to have his left knee buckled by Insecurity’s looping strike. Confidence rolled with the blow, landing on his feet, and managed a weak counter of a similar type. It was weak at best, but it gave him a brief reprieve from the onslaught, and allowed him to gather his strength.
Insecurity roared at the offense, and whirled his stone club doubly hard in return, landing both a crushing blow to Confidence’s head, and, as he circled the strike around, a smashing thud to his chest, launching Confidence up, into the air, just as Fear came down from above, landing on Confidence with all of his weight.
Confidence wheezed, desperately attempting to breathe, to stand, to even just lift his arms. He could feel panic oozing from his every pore as Fear’s poison laced his veins, and the internal bleeding of Insecurity’s crushing blows began to become evident.
Insecurity bellowed his victory to the audience, while Fear signaled the crowd that they were about to finish this charade of a match once and for all.
All was blackness for a moment, as consciousness left Confidence. He was awakened suddenly, not by the thunderous noise of Insecurity’s footfalls, but by the very vibrations they created, shaking him awake like a cheap hotel’s magic fingers bed frame.
“NO!” Confidence squealed, sensing his end was near, and hurling his dagger randomly.
The audience went silent.
Insecurity bellowed in rage, and in pain! Confidence poked his head out from his shell, and saw that his dagger had taken out Insecurity’s only eye!
Confidence saw, for the first time, he had a chance. Broken and battered though he was, there was a time when he’d been a great warrior. If ever… if EVER, there was a time to draw upon that past, it was now.
Now!
Confidence summoned his courage and yelled his own battle cry in anger. The crowed erupted in cheers!
Fear, seeing that for the first time there could be any danger to him whatsoever, shot his tendrils into the ground, and launched them up from underneath Confidence.
Confidence was ready. Like watching the previews to a movie often ruins all the best parts, he’d seen all of their best moves already. Quickly, he shot his hips forward, aligning his shell with the barbed tendrils, snapping their spires with its dense material. Fear screamed in pain and frustration!
Confidence channeled his power, and began to expand and grow! Insecurity lashed out blindly, taking apart the arena and smashing into the crowd, who desperately tried to steer him back into the fray, both for their own entertainment, and self preservation!
Fear struggled to free his entangled tendrils, but failed to do so before the agile Confidence slammed into him with a flying kick to the face!
Fear snarled as he thudded into the ground, freeing his tendrils as he landed, and whipped them into Confidence’s leg.
Confidence grunted from the pain, but quickly jumped onto Fear’s chest, pinning him to the ground! It was his time now! He began reigning blows upon Fear, who seemed unable to defend himself from this position!
Fear’s tendrils lashed blindly into Confidence’s shell, as Confidence thundered his fists into Fear’s head!
There was a huge CRACK! And then, a sudden darkness overtook Confidence. When he awoke, only moments later, he realized that he’d been struck from behind. Insecurity had landed a lucky shot, and had fractured Confidence’s shell with a single, mighty strike.
Confidence realized he was still airborne from the blow, and was about to land! Quickly, he tucked his arms and legs into his shell, and rolled on the ground, popping up seconds later, and turned to face his opponents. Fear was yelling into Insecurity’s ears, telling him where Confidence was!
Insecurity roared, and took off in a blind, thunderous charge, as Fear circled into a flanking position!
Confidence knew what he had to do. It was risky, it was dangerous, and it was his only shot. As he took a limping step forward, he realized that it might prove difficult to convince his body to cooperate with him at all!
Confidence, seeing his moment, grabbed some loose rope from the arena structure, and tossed it into the rafters. Fear was yelling, but the likelihood of Insecurity hearing him through the crowd was doubtful. He would have his element of surprise.
Insecurity thundered closer, Fear approached from the side, and Confidence swung, high into the air! Up, UP he sailed! Over Insecurity, and around behind Fear! Twisting as he did so, he hit the arena wall with a thup, and (yes, a thup) and spun savagely into Fear, using Confidence’s own broken (and thusly fairly pointy) shell as a battering ram! Fear, already weak from the previous barrage, failed to turn in time, and was sent teetering into Insecurity! Insecurity roared in triumph and began hammering victorious blows down upon the nearly instantly pulped Fear!
Confidence wasn’t done yet! Using his momentum, he swung again, landing on Insecurity’s back! He removed the knife from Insecurity’s eye, and brought it down again, and again, and again! Confidence grew from the crowd’s chants. Again and again he brought down Insecurity, in a blind haze of final retribution!
Confidence had won! Confidence had won! The crowd exploded in shocked and amazed cheers of utter revelation! Roses were hurled, coins and virgins tossed, Confidence had won! He raised his hands in victory!
CON-FI-DENCE! CON-FI-DENCE! CON-FI-DENCE!
The crowd was chanting his name! It was finally chanting his name!
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