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CHAPTER 31: The Great Escape

For the record, I still say this plan is stupid.” Steve stage-whispered to Wally, as they took off in a now-well-practiced crouched run towards their quarry. 

“No it isn’t!  It’s perfect!  Now get to your position!” Wally snapped, most confidently.

Phase one of Wally’s decidedly devious plan was likely going to be the second hardest, assuming they didn’t die in the process (in which case it would definitely be upgraded to hardest)

“NOW!” Wally squealed, as GAAAAGH!!!! GAAAAGH!! AAAAAHGH!! GRAAARK-kkkkkhhhh… slithered beneath them.  Steve was first to land on the creature, stabbing at it with a makeshift shiv that he’d created out of his toothbrush.  If it caused GAAAAGH!!!! GAAAAGH!! AAAAAHGH!! GRAAARK-kkkkkhhhh… any pain, he didn’t show it.

Snarling at the attack, GAAAAGH!!!! GAAAAGH!! AAAAAHGH!! GRAAARK-kkkkkhhhh… smacked Steve with twenty or so of his arms, whilst he swiveled towards the sound of Wally’s squeal.

“Gnaaaaaggggh!” Wally screamed, (confusingly & accidentally yelling out GAAAAGH!!!! GAAAAGH!! AAAAAHGH!! GRAAARK-kkkkkhhhh…’s former high school sweetheart’s name, greatly confusing him in the process) jumping into his gaping maw and quickly being swallowed.

“Stupid plan, stupid plan, stupid plan!” Steve chanted, dancing around like a lunatic in an effort to draw the huge parasite’s attention.

“Splatch,” Wally said, taking from this backpack the fellow who had, at some point throughout the past while, been identified as not merely a Splatch-a-like, “I know now’s not a good time to mention this, but… I found your midget on frog magazine, and… well, I’m really disgusted.

Splatch shuddered and convulsed, and quickly began burning through his upper levels of skin.  As he did so, Wally hurled him to the far side of GAAAAGH!!!! GAAAAGH!! AAAAAHGH!! GRAAARK-kkkkkhhhh…’s stomach, causing Splatch to plasma-burn his way through, neatly hollowing out the behemoth (who, rest assured, let out quite the behemoth-level of a bellow in agonizingly redundant resistance).

“Phase… >cough< phase one, complete” Wally said, crawling out from the parasite’s carapace and collapsing.  

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