Sloth Lady

Driving like a bat out of hell, which, if you think about it, is doubly bad (due to the fact that bats from just about anywhere would be horrible drivers) I made it to the airport nearly exactly too late to be decent and speak slowly.

This, it would later occur to me, was not helpful nor the best way for me to project an air of "not a terrorist" to someone working at an airport.

"friggin won a trip and only have 20 minutes because of the god damn phone police airport parking!" I screamed urgently to the half woman, half sloth creature which seemed to be entirely fixated on things involving not-me as it slowly chewed the mass of what I could only hope was gum, within its mandibles.

"Congraaaatulations on winnin' that trip.  What are the odds of that?" She asked, clearly misunderstanding her position, as it was I, who should be asking her, the questions.

"I haven't the slightest idea, maybe we can look it up when we have more time - about that confirmation code, what would you suggest I do to show that I've won these tickets?"

"Tickets?"

"...YES!"

"So you're takin' somebody with you then?"

Again, she seemed to have taken on the roll of the inquisitor verses the interrogated.  But, the sloth had an excellent point.  The conversation with the lady slowly came back to me, and I realized that she had, in fact, said "tickets", plural.

"...possibly, yes!" I replied, taken aback.

"Well, maybe they know your confirmation code." She offered, entirely unhelpfully.

"Th... they don't EXIST yet!  I don't know who I'm taking to Cancun, I don't even know how to get my tickets thanks to god damn Albert!"

"Who is Albert?"

"Look, I don't have TIME to tell you all these things, I need to find my tickets!"

"Why do you need two tickets, if you aren't going to be taking Albert with you?"

"I suppose I only need the ONE ticket, but I've technically won tickETS, so, I would imagine that they'd be in some kind of envelope... prize... station, thing, would they not!?"

She paused, clearly isolating a particular flavor out of her hopefully-gum, "That's an interesting question."

I twitched, and hissed through my teeth as I watched the minute hand upon the clock tick forward.  "Yes.  I thought so."

"Who would be in charge of your tickets?" The sloth queried aloud, clearly not recognizing the irony of an information desk clerk asking such a question.

NOTE:

How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?