A little known fact about herpes is its ability to cause armageddon, when mixed with the right chemicals.
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
Every Acadamy Award Winning Movie Trailer
This is so freaking true, awesome, and well done.
That is all.
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
That is all.
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
What was your shortest relationship?
Well, like many of us, I've been on a dating site at one point or another. There was this one girl, who seemed fairly nice, though she had one of those "fat" profile pics... you know the one. Clever angle, cropped short, be distracted by my lips and/or cleavage so you won't wonder how the hell I got this angle type angle?
So yeah, I decided to do an MSN chat with her. No biggie. Certainly nobody mentioned a shocking amount of nudity would ensue the instant I logged in.
What I saw, was a 300lbs naked woman on a webcam, who didn't seem to posess nipples.
The relationship lasted as long as it took me to go "GAH! GWAH! NO! NOOOOO! NEASLEKRAAAAAAGH!" and shake my head like a dog being forced to take a pill as I fumbled blindly for my monitor's off button.
To this day, those nipple-less breasts burn a hole into my mind. How did they lose their nipples? Was it related to her obesity? Did they get swallowed up like that guy in Akira
?
So many questions.
If you're out there large nipple-less female, feel free to comment. But please, no picture links. Please.
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
So yeah, I decided to do an MSN chat with her. No biggie. Certainly nobody mentioned a shocking amount of nudity would ensue the instant I logged in.
What I saw, was a 300lbs naked woman on a webcam, who didn't seem to posess nipples.
The relationship lasted as long as it took me to go "GAH! GWAH! NO! NOOOOO! NEASLEKRAAAAAAGH!" and shake my head like a dog being forced to take a pill as I fumbled blindly for my monitor's off button.
To this day, those nipple-less breasts burn a hole into my mind. How did they lose their nipples? Was it related to her obesity? Did they get swallowed up like that guy in Akira
?So many questions.
If you're out there large nipple-less female, feel free to comment. But please, no picture links. Please.
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
Where were you three hours ago?
Where were any of us, any time ago, other than now?
If you think about it, there is no past, or future; simply now. Try doing anything tomorrow. Go ahead, try. You can't, you have to do it now. And when you are in tomorrow, you'll still be in now, it'll just be then.
If this is sounding like space balls
, I apologise, but, if you think about it, its a fairly accurate interpretation of the situation.
When will then be now? Soon.
In fact, your entire life could simply be a memory implant (now I'm getting Wolverine
on you) - btw, check that out; killer electronic battle claw! Man, I didn't have that kinda stuff when I was a kid... just duct taped knives to my hand, we did, IN THE SNOW!) and your whole life could simply be a simulation.
The government just turned you on, and, whatever you're in the middle of doing (in this case, reading this blog, which, would really be an odd choice for a government official to put one of their new fledglings into... unless that's exactly what they WANT you to think... which is why I wrote that... so you would... gah.)
Anyhoo, you're in the middle of doing something, and the future is simply the beginning.
Still, you're in now, now. We just passed then. (Just now)
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
If you think about it, there is no past, or future; simply now. Try doing anything tomorrow. Go ahead, try. You can't, you have to do it now. And when you are in tomorrow, you'll still be in now, it'll just be then.
If this is sounding like space balls
, I apologise, but, if you think about it, its a fairly accurate interpretation of the situation.When will then be now? Soon.
In fact, your entire life could simply be a memory implant (now I'm getting Wolverine
on you) - btw, check that out; killer electronic battle claw! Man, I didn't have that kinda stuff when I was a kid... just duct taped knives to my hand, we did, IN THE SNOW!) and your whole life could simply be a simulation.The government just turned you on, and, whatever you're in the middle of doing (in this case, reading this blog, which, would really be an odd choice for a government official to put one of their new fledglings into... unless that's exactly what they WANT you to think... which is why I wrote that... so you would... gah.)
Anyhoo, you're in the middle of doing something, and the future is simply the beginning.
Still, you're in now, now. We just passed then. (Just now)
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
Why do people rip their jeans on purpose?
Excellent question Mr. Roboto - why indeed.
My theory is our obsession with wildlife - specifically, large cats. If you look at any 'cool' movie guy, they often have scars of some type. Why?
No, not because "no means no", because they had a run-in with a nasty house cat, or, lion of some type.
Its assumed!
So, I think this is a less-seriously-cosmetically-perminant way of people getting "cool scars" or "battle damage" that we all seek.
It implies street cred, but keeps our faces pretty. Like getting a neat Japanese character on a shirt, verses on a tattoo.
Now, where this comes from, initially, my guess, is less fortunate people. If you look at the "gangster walk" chances are, it came from someone who didn't have enough money to seek medical attention and developed a limp.
If you look at the "gangster pants" where they're around your ankles, my guess is, that came from a less fortunate family where the young kid had to wear his older brother's hand-me-downs.
Same with ripped jeans. My guess is, the "cool kid" just tore his jeans and couldn't afford new ones.
--But the cat idea is good, too.
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My theory is our obsession with wildlife - specifically, large cats. If you look at any 'cool' movie guy, they often have scars of some type. Why?
No, not because "no means no", because they had a run-in with a nasty house cat, or, lion of some type.
Its assumed!
So, I think this is a less-seriously-cosmetically-perminant way of people getting "cool scars" or "battle damage" that we all seek.
It implies street cred, but keeps our faces pretty. Like getting a neat Japanese character on a shirt, verses on a tattoo.
Now, where this comes from, initially, my guess, is less fortunate people. If you look at the "gangster walk" chances are, it came from someone who didn't have enough money to seek medical attention and developed a limp.
If you look at the "gangster pants" where they're around your ankles, my guess is, that came from a less fortunate family where the young kid had to wear his older brother's hand-me-downs.
Same with ripped jeans. My guess is, the "cool kid" just tore his jeans and couldn't afford new ones.
--But the cat idea is good, too.
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Why do schools have fire drills, earthquake drills, tornado drills etc?
These sound like the most amazing doomsday devices I've ever heard of!
Perhaps this insane device has finally cracked the world's most plaguing issue. The one thing that keeps our government officials up at night.
The very fact that nothing... can drill through fire.
That is... until now!
THE FIRE DRILL WILL KEEP YOUR CHILDREN SAFE AT NIGHT!
Vote yes on proposition Fire Drill.
Now then, Earthquake drills have been around for a long time. You put a big bomb in a big drill, you drill, you set it off, and the world shakes. Big deal. Although why a SCHOOL would have one of these, is an excellent question.
My guess is, its a school for evil geniuses. Or, perhaps a Mad Science School, for Mad Scientists. (I can just see them passing out beakers, lab coats and hair gel)
This tornado drill... reminds me of Red Tornado
- who was always kind of lame, until they re-wrote him and all of a sudden he was a Dr. Ivo super creation. I tell ya, anything that Batman
authors get their hands on becomes cooler, grittier and more believable... but the Red Freakin' Tornado? Wow. Kudos bats.
Speaking of, did you hear Batman Died!?
yeesh. Gotta up the readership again eh DC? Also by the way, if you haven't played Batman: Arkham Asylum, friggen do so. Its so awesome.
Where was I... oh yeah, Tornado drills. Not as cool as fire drills.
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Let's Start with THE FIRE DRILL.
That just sounds so cool! Imagine a device that would just launch a drill-bit of fire at something... or maybe the fire is somehow solidified?
OR... is it a device that can somehow DRILL THROUGH FIRE!?
Perhaps I've gone about this all wrong!
The very fact that nothing... can drill through fire.
That is... until now!
THE FIRE DRILL WILL KEEP YOUR CHILDREN SAFE AT NIGHT!
Vote yes on proposition Fire Drill.
Now then, Earthquake drills have been around for a long time. You put a big bomb in a big drill, you drill, you set it off, and the world shakes. Big deal. Although why a SCHOOL would have one of these, is an excellent question.
My guess is, its a school for evil geniuses. Or, perhaps a Mad Science School, for Mad Scientists. (I can just see them passing out beakers, lab coats and hair gel)
This tornado drill... reminds me of Red Tornado
- who was always kind of lame, until they re-wrote him and all of a sudden he was a Dr. Ivo super creation. I tell ya, anything that Batman authors get their hands on becomes cooler, grittier and more believable... but the Red Freakin' Tornado? Wow. Kudos bats.Speaking of, did you hear Batman Died!?
yeesh. Gotta up the readership again eh DC? Also by the way, if you haven't played Batman: Arkham Asylum, friggen do so. Its so awesome.Where was I... oh yeah, Tornado drills. Not as cool as fire drills.
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
Do you wear hoes in your house?
Are we talking their skin, or some strange foot fetish in which I insert my feet into...
Okay, definately a very strange question. Are they hugging onto my feet like frightened kowala bears?
Was this question asked by a calculator? Should I be reading 5304 instead of SHOES?
And, if so, should I be decrypting that number into longitude, latitude, or an address or do I add them all up to 12?
And then, do I add that up to 3?
Do I wear 3 in my house? That makes no sense!
You sir, are psychotic, and I refuse to answer your silence of the lambs-esque question.
Good day sir!
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
Okay, definately a very strange question. Are they hugging onto my feet like frightened kowala bears?
Was this question asked by a calculator? Should I be reading 5304 instead of SHOES?
And, if so, should I be decrypting that number into longitude, latitude, or an address or do I add them all up to 12?
And then, do I add that up to 3?
Do I wear 3 in my house? That makes no sense!
You sir, are psychotic, and I refuse to answer your silence of the lambs-esque question.
Good day sir!
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Do looks matter?
Of course they do - especially when crossing the street. Oh sure, you can get by on those "beep boop, beep boop" thingies for the blind...
--Wouldn't it be a horrible thing if you made that your ring tone, and it went off whilst standing at an intersection whilst next to a blind guy? Yeah. You'd feel awful. --
But honestly, that's no substitute for the ability to see a hybrid car barrelling down on you at 40km p/hr.
Can you play chess in your head? Sure. But its easier to play it with sight.
I would say, that without a shadow of a doubt... although I don't know exactly what a doubt's shadow would look like... probably like the neighborhood watch guy, who, by the way, is a very commonly seen ghost, as it turns out... that looks do matter.
In the area of relationships, I ask you this question: Would you want to poop on an electrified toilet?
No, no you wouldn't. But, if you really really had to go... you would. But, eventually, you'd probably want to pick yourself up another toilet.
Unless, say you were really emotionally attached to this toilet, and just decided to stop using it altogether.
Now, you have another problem.
Now, don't get me wrong: I'm not saying you bought the house FOR the toilet. Of course not. But, at the same time... you're going to probably miss that toilet if it was gone altogether.
I wouldn't be surprised if, pretty soon, you started going over to friends houses to borrow theirs.
So yeah. Toilets matter. The toilets in Japan spray water on your bum, by the way. So, make sure you shop around and find one that's right for you.
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--Wouldn't it be a horrible thing if you made that your ring tone, and it went off whilst standing at an intersection whilst next to a blind guy? Yeah. You'd feel awful. --
But honestly, that's no substitute for the ability to see a hybrid car barrelling down on you at 40km p/hr.
Can you play chess in your head? Sure. But its easier to play it with sight.
I would say, that without a shadow of a doubt... although I don't know exactly what a doubt's shadow would look like... probably like the neighborhood watch guy, who, by the way, is a very commonly seen ghost, as it turns out... that looks do matter.
In the area of relationships, I ask you this question: Would you want to poop on an electrified toilet?
No, no you wouldn't. But, if you really really had to go... you would. But, eventually, you'd probably want to pick yourself up another toilet.
Unless, say you were really emotionally attached to this toilet, and just decided to stop using it altogether.
Now, you have another problem.
Now, don't get me wrong: I'm not saying you bought the house FOR the toilet. Of course not. But, at the same time... you're going to probably miss that toilet if it was gone altogether.
I wouldn't be surprised if, pretty soon, you started going over to friends houses to borrow theirs.
So yeah. Toilets matter. The toilets in Japan spray water on your bum, by the way. So, make sure you shop around and find one that's right for you.
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What is the strangest video game character?
Strangest EVER? Man. That is a tough question. I think I'm going to leave behind the plumber who steps on poo with feet and turtles that bite him, and any of his acolites, and instead, look to more modern targets.
For example, this uncomfortably oiled fellow, from street fighter.
Yeah. That's what I said.
"What the," and then silence, then "what is h... oh wow." Yeah. I said the exact same thing.
I don't know exactly where they came up with Mr. Lube -- which I can only imagine is the evil version of Mr. Clean, or, at the very least, the Mr. Clean from a parallel universe -- but what the heck guys?
"Okay, so, people seemed to enjoy the bear wrestler in the speedo..."
Right right...
"And they really got a kick out of the hairy guy who bites people..."
Yeah, with ya...
"So get this: We'll oil the heck out of a guy, and make his super moves to cover himself in lube, spin on them, and squirt them around like someone trying to hold on to a fish!"
Uhh... what about another Guile Rip off... or another Ryu rip off?
"No, no! This is cutting edge, man! He'll be slippery!"
Hmm....
(board directors all look around nervously at each other)
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How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
Does size matter?
Does size matter?
Abso-freakin' lootly it does.
For starters, imagine trying to shoot a rat, and now, imagine trying to shoot a barn. One is a LOT freakin' easier to hit.
Now, let's talk about weight. Imagine trying to lift a quarter. Now, imagine trying to lift a truck. Which was easier?
Seriously, this question is just stupid.
Now, I'm going to assume that we're talking about sex, baby, although not, as likely, between you and me, but, still, let's talk about all the good things, and the bad things that will be, yes?
Let's say that you had a lock to pick, and you needed to reach every nook and cranny within said lock. Would you want a tiny pick, or a long one?
Let's say you had something small, hidden behind or underneith your couch, and there was a bunch of other random stuff in the way. Would you want long arms, or short arms to reach it?
Let's say you had... what? Enough analogies?
Alright then. Let's go with this:
It might not matter. I mean, hey, you could pick the lock, and you could find the hidden object with shorter things. You just might have to lift the couch up on an angle, that's all.
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Abso-freakin' lootly it does.
For starters, imagine trying to shoot a rat, and now, imagine trying to shoot a barn. One is a LOT freakin' easier to hit.
Now, let's talk about weight. Imagine trying to lift a quarter. Now, imagine trying to lift a truck. Which was easier?
Seriously, this question is just stupid.
Now, I'm going to assume that we're talking about sex, baby, although not, as likely, between you and me, but, still, let's talk about all the good things, and the bad things that will be, yes?
Let's say that you had a lock to pick, and you needed to reach every nook and cranny within said lock. Would you want a tiny pick, or a long one?
Let's say you had something small, hidden behind or underneith your couch, and there was a bunch of other random stuff in the way. Would you want long arms, or short arms to reach it?
Let's say you had... what? Enough analogies?
Alright then. Let's go with this:
It might not matter. I mean, hey, you could pick the lock, and you could find the hidden object with shorter things. You just might have to lift the couch up on an angle, that's all.
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Most painful road trip music?
Without a doubt, was my horrific experience involving getting stuck in a car with a bunch of Christians, for 12 hours.
With a single mix tape.
With a total of 6 songs on it.
...Which they played... On loop...
For the whole trip.
...wait for it...
Both ways.
The following is the most horrific. It has this horrible buildup at the beginning which still makes me shudder.
This song actually was partially responsible for my temporary aversion to Amway (then called Quixtar) - as it was within said highly christian group that I was exposed to this monstrosity of a song.
If you ever become afraid that your child may be heading down the wrong path, and want to steer them away from organized religion, I recommend a similar treatment.
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With a single mix tape.
With a total of 6 songs on it.
...Which they played... On loop...
For the whole trip.
...wait for it...
Both ways.
The following is the most horrific. It has this horrible buildup at the beginning which still makes me shudder.
This song actually was partially responsible for my temporary aversion to Amway (then called Quixtar) - as it was within said highly christian group that I was exposed to this monstrosity of a song.
If you ever become afraid that your child may be heading down the wrong path, and want to steer them away from organized religion, I recommend a similar treatment.
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Why do we have Easter eggs?
Why do we have Easter eggs?.
Quick answer? Self control, or poor observation skills. You either didn't eat them on purpose, or haven't found them until they were stale.
But, if we are to look at the purpose behind Easter eggs, this is when we will delve deep into the collective psyche of society.
There is a theory. It has to do with Monkeys.
There was this island, where there was a bunch of Monkeys. And they all showed each other this unique way of cleaning and preparing their food. No other monkeys did this. After a while, about 100 monkeys learned this technique.
At this point, entire tribes, very far away and having no contact (that we know of) with the other monkeys, simultaneously and collectively acquired this skill.
What's this all mean? That we're connected somehow. That instinct is not simply instinct. That ideas are not simply random, but are objects. Things that float around us wanting to be acted upon.
So the next time you have an idea, act upon it or you'll hurt that thought form's feelings. (Just don't burn random things or people.)
Now, in an infinite universe, there is a second theory, which states that with infinity being within the equation, all things are possible.
I'm not sure if that directly translates to people made of Popsicles, but, I think that this particular theory has a few holes.
But, if you combine the monkeys with the Popsicles, you pretty much get the idea that Zombies want you to eat chocolate in the shapes of aborted chicken fetuses.
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Quick answer? Self control, or poor observation skills. You either didn't eat them on purpose, or haven't found them until they were stale.
But, if we are to look at the purpose behind Easter eggs, this is when we will delve deep into the collective psyche of society.
There is a theory. It has to do with Monkeys.
There was this island, where there was a bunch of Monkeys. And they all showed each other this unique way of cleaning and preparing their food. No other monkeys did this. After a while, about 100 monkeys learned this technique.
At this point, entire tribes, very far away and having no contact (that we know of) with the other monkeys, simultaneously and collectively acquired this skill.
What's this all mean? That we're connected somehow. That instinct is not simply instinct. That ideas are not simply random, but are objects. Things that float around us wanting to be acted upon.
So the next time you have an idea, act upon it or you'll hurt that thought form's feelings. (Just don't burn random things or people.)
Now, in an infinite universe, there is a second theory, which states that with infinity being within the equation, all things are possible.
I'm not sure if that directly translates to people made of Popsicles, but, I think that this particular theory has a few holes.
But, if you combine the monkeys with the Popsicles, you pretty much get the idea that Zombies want you to eat chocolate in the shapes of aborted chicken fetuses.
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Why were pyramids built?
Why might be important. How, is definitely important.
Did you know that without the use of lasers (and cutting the stones into smaller pieces) we would be unable to fabricate the pyramids with our current technological level?
...So that means that people in Egypt, thousands of years ago... did what, exactly?
So here's my theory.
1) Cithulu, didn't always have the Zoidberg-look going for him. (In fact, its up for debate as to whom copied whom.)
2) Egyptian cats had telekinesis. (it really makes perfect sense, if you think about it)
So, Cithulu decided, back in the day, to get those as-of-yet-underpowered cats to gather him souls and, in exchange, he would give them telekinesis.
...and they made really big triangles.
(duh)
So, to answer your question, the pyramids were made so that the cats would have large pyramids.
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Did you know that without the use of lasers (and cutting the stones into smaller pieces) we would be unable to fabricate the pyramids with our current technological level?
...So that means that people in Egypt, thousands of years ago... did what, exactly?
So here's my theory.
1) Cithulu, didn't always have the Zoidberg-look going for him. (In fact, its up for debate as to whom copied whom.)
2) Egyptian cats had telekinesis. (it really makes perfect sense, if you think about it)
So, Cithulu decided, back in the day, to get those as-of-yet-underpowered cats to gather him souls and, in exchange, he would give them telekinesis.
...and they made really big triangles.
(duh)
So, to answer your question, the pyramids were made so that the cats would have large pyramids.
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Would a penguin taste more like fish or chicken?
Syreen said...
Would a penguin taste more like fish or chicken??
The question you have to ask yourself Serenity, is why does everything taste like chicken in the first place? Are our palettes so underdeveloped, or our imaginations so atrophied that all we can come up with is: "like chicken?"
Or, is it so carnivores know the difference? Leaves = not-chicken would probably be good logic for a T-rex.
Flavoring seems very random, to me. I mean, ostridge tastes like steak, but then snake tastes like chicken. Snake just seems so much more bad-ass to me than ostridge - but maybe I'm not giving the ostridge it's due.
I know for a fact that in many video games, ostridges are pretty darn offensively viable.
I mean, look at MEGAMAN's arch nemisis:
(Overdrive Ostridge, for the record)
So yeah, maybe those bad-ass mo' fo's have the right to taste like steak. Then again, cow's aren't exactly offensively all that impressive. So... maybe its an insult to taste like a cow?
In FACT...
YES! Okay: So! There is a theory, that dinosaurs were actually feathered and looked like big ass chickens.
(takes away some of the fear factor, considering the lil' testical-hangy-down-thingies the T-rooster would have...)
(what are YOU looking at eh? Do I have a sac on my chin or something?)
So yeah, bad-ass creatures, (however sackibbly laughable) taste like chicken. Lame-o-beasts taste like steak.
So, penguins are decidedly unthreatening, and ergo I must come to the conclusion that they would taste delicious.
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Would a penguin taste more like fish or chicken??
The question you have to ask yourself Serenity, is why does everything taste like chicken in the first place? Are our palettes so underdeveloped, or our imaginations so atrophied that all we can come up with is: "like chicken?"
Or, is it so carnivores know the difference? Leaves = not-chicken would probably be good logic for a T-rex.
Flavoring seems very random, to me. I mean, ostridge tastes like steak, but then snake tastes like chicken. Snake just seems so much more bad-ass to me than ostridge - but maybe I'm not giving the ostridge it's due.
I know for a fact that in many video games, ostridges are pretty darn offensively viable.
I mean, look at MEGAMAN's arch nemisis:
(Overdrive Ostridge, for the record)
So yeah, maybe those bad-ass mo' fo's have the right to taste like steak. Then again, cow's aren't exactly offensively all that impressive. So... maybe its an insult to taste like a cow?
In FACT...
YES! Okay: So! There is a theory, that dinosaurs were actually feathered and looked like big ass chickens.
(takes away some of the fear factor, considering the lil' testical-hangy-down-thingies the T-rooster would have...)
(what are YOU looking at eh? Do I have a sac on my chin or something?)
So yeah, bad-ass creatures, (however sackibbly laughable) taste like chicken. Lame-o-beasts taste like steak.
So, penguins are decidedly unthreatening, and ergo I must come to the conclusion that they would taste delicious.
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Why is the sky blue?
Pfft. Such a question is benieth the mighty Trogdor. Buuut, I'm not Trogdor. So, I'll take a shot at it.
Like Santa, there are three main theories on the sky's pigment.
1) Because of God's obsessive compulsive perverted killings of kittens in relation to your masterbation.
(The majority of kittens souls have a blue-ish tint.)
And, let's face it, you're still fapping (you heartless bastards)
So, the constant stream of voyuristically induced theologic kittin-icide gives our sky a nice pretty tint of kitten-soul.
Now, if you all obeyed your commandments, we'd go back to our natural blood red skies, the way God intended.
2) Something to do with air molocules having hydrogen in them, which has a blue-ish tinge which you can see the "deeper" one gets into an atmosphere, like how water gets thicker/darker blah blah blah. Pretty sure its the kittens one.
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Like Santa, there are three main theories on the sky's pigment.
1) Because of God's obsessive compulsive perverted killings of kittens in relation to your masterbation.
(The majority of kittens souls have a blue-ish tint.)
And, let's face it, you're still fapping (you heartless bastards)
So, the constant stream of voyuristically induced theologic kittin-icide gives our sky a nice pretty tint of kitten-soul.
Now, if you all obeyed your commandments, we'd go back to our natural blood red skies, the way God intended.
2) Something to do with air molocules having hydrogen in them, which has a blue-ish tinge which you can see the "deeper" one gets into an atmosphere, like how water gets thicker/darker blah blah blah. Pretty sure its the kittens one.
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